obviously

maybe

he wasn’t meant

to be a lawyer

sitting on my shoulder

now

up there

in heaven or hell

watching me disappoint

and you too

maybe

don’t forget

all of us

really

.

.　

he was nice to dogs

and neighbors

he was from chicago

he struggled

with anxiety

maybe that

was the reason

.

.

the case

was his idea

not mine

i couldn’t

wouldn’t

proceed

he said it was

my only option

so i did

.

.

and then

he seemed

to balk

he said

he was uneasy

had never done

anything

quite this before

.

.

i tried to help

saying

let’s proceed

normally

on the merits

like you would

usually

.

.

obviously

that didn’t work

the case

wasn’t the problem

the lawyer was

.

.

the case now won

the lawyer lost

would that one could

call him up

and ask

why

or say

please don’t

.

.

was it because

he was a good person

nice to dogs

neighbors

or from chicago

a cold city

so i hear

.

.

was he burned

envenomated

injured

to turn on himself

this way

.

.

we all are

you know

in some ways

someone said

kill all the lawyers

but maybe he

was wrong

.

.

we don’t have to

if they do it themselves

in the process of billing

they can’t cash

the checks

after

after all

.

.

what do the dead

think of us

do you wonder

i think

they do

think

.

.

why did he not

self correct

reverse this course

of selfish action

find a way

another way

.

.

what do i know

though

with a dead lawyer

bothering my shoulder

except that he

deserved better

and

i

won

the case

he was right

about that

after all