obviously
maybe
he wasn’t meant
to be a lawyer
sitting on my shoulder
now
up there
in heaven or hell
watching me disappoint
and you too
maybe
don’t forget
all of us
really
.
.
he was nice to dogs
and neighbors
he was from chicago
he struggled
with anxiety
maybe that
was the reason
.
.
the case
was his idea
not mine
i couldn’t
wouldn’t
proceed
he said it was
my only option
so i did
.
.
and then
he seemed
to balk
he said
he was uneasy
had never done
anything
quite this before
.
.
i tried to help
saying
let’s proceed
normally
on the merits
like you would
usually
.
.
obviously
that didn’t work
the case
wasn’t the problem
the lawyer was
.
.
the case now won
the lawyer lost
would that one could
call him up
and ask
why
or say
please don’t
.
.
was it because
he was a good person
nice to dogs
neighbors
or from chicago
a cold city
so i hear
.
.
was he burned
envenomated
injured
to turn on himself
this way
.
.
we all are
you know
in some ways
someone said
kill all the lawyers
but maybe he
was wrong
.
.
we don’t have to
if they do it themselves
in the process of billing
they can’t cash
the checks
after
after all
.
.
what do the dead
think of us
do you wonder
i think
they do
think
.
.
why did he not
self correct
reverse this course
of selfish action
find a way
another way
.
.
what do i know
though
with a dead lawyer
bothering my shoulder
except that he
deserved better
and
i
won
the case
he was right
about that
after all