Rural resident Cindy Knoke has been charged with overfeeding wild morning-doves leading to relationship strains amongst these life-long monogamous birds. If convicted Knoke faces a $2000.00 fine and 3 months in jail, with Lindsey Lohan as a cell mate.
Knoke has reportedly requested through her attorney, that she be sent to death-row, rather than share a cell with Lohan.
Regardless, the strains in the morning-dove’s relationships are quite clear as witnessed by this couple today at Knoke’s Holler home:
Female Dove, “Honey, do I look fat on this rock?”
Male, “No dear you look fine.”
Female, “Hmmmpf….You didn’t even LOOK at me! I’m leaving you…..except I can’t seem to fly…..”
Other birds at Knoke’s holler are becomming tame due to Knokes overly generous feeding program.
Even the tiny hummingbirds are appearing rather portly. No indications at this time as to whether additional charges will be brought against Knoke for overfeeding the Hummingbirds.
When contacted at their residence, knoke’s husband Jim had no comment except to say, “You don’t know my wife, she will never share a jail cell with Lindsey Lohan.”
We will keep you updated on this breaking story.
Awesome!
Merci beaucoup to you!!!
Absolutely hilarious! And the birds do have a slightly well-fed look with evidence to support conviction.
LOL
I know. Death row here I go………Maybe I can blog while incarcerated! One needs to look at the bright side after all. Should be really unique posts~
Whatsamatta Cuz? You afraid some of LL will rub off on you? Those doves DO look a little portly, Cindy. Don’t you have any lo-cal or diet birdseed? I do love the hummingbirds. Do they fly up to you when you’re outside. I had one here within a couple feet of my face more than once last summer. They are really amazing that close, like emeralds with a ruby throat. Keep me posted and let me know where the jailhouse is so I can come visit.
Paul
LL would probably drive me to the brink of insanity within the first 24 hours. And yes, the hummingbirds especially do this when I am trying to photograph hawks flying. It’s almost like they are saying why are you not taking photos of me?
I loved this! My only hesitation is why she’d share a cell with Lindsay Lohan. Overfeeding birds (and I really enjoyed the birds’ conversation!) is completely different that Lohan’s offenses. Unless you want them to learn from each other, which would really be for the birds!
Nice post.
Yes indeed it would be for the birds!
Thanks for visiting!
You’re funny
Let us know if the morning-doves sort out their disagreement in time for Valentine’s Day!
What a great idea. I will provide some Dove marital counseling if necessary….but I first must buy some diet bird seed as Paul above has suggested……:)
Ha! Lindsey Lohan could show you how to survive in the “pokey”. Which contraband will bring you the most prison cash, and how to make toilet wine. Maybe your lawyer can get you off with a slap on the wrist..(LL could help you there too, she has to have compromising pics of the Judge in order to get out of trouble so easily)
Yes I’m sure LL could teach me a lot….The only problem is, her lessons I don’t want to learn!
Laughed hard! Great pictures and good story!
Thank you my dear. Only fair since your posts usually have me in stiches~
But Cindy, who reported you? An angry dove?
I don’t know, but I swear I will get to the bottom of this…..Everyne is now under my cloud of suspiscion!
When I first met my husband, M, I would accompany him to the Audubon conservation to feed the birds. M actually bought big bag of bird food to take with us. One time, we were warned by the man in charge not to feed the birds anymore, that it was against the law. What does M do, take me to feed the birds again. I stood back. The same man showed up again, and warned M for the second time, and that next time he would arrest M. That ended our bird feeding.
See! And people thought I was kidding………BTB I’m on M’s side. If Mary Poppins tells us to “feed the birds for tuppance a bag,” we must do as she says. M can just say the next time, “I’m sorry. Mary Poppins told me to do this.”
I guarantee if he does this with a straight face, they will promptly leave him alone!
Lindsey Lohan amount to cruel and unusual punishment under the Geneva Convention.
and as i think I’ve pointed out numerous times on my blog, and woman asking the ‘Does my arse look big in this?’ or any related question is sowing the seeds (hahaha small joke there) of dissent, and is pretty much fair game (hahaha)
Sorry Cindy, I’m a bit tired, so not my usual scintillating self.
Actually, I found your comment to be highly amusing and most appropriate for the post. I’m hopeful though. I’m going with the Mary Poppins defense (see above comment) and I think I’ll be exonerated.
‘Feed the birds
Tuppence a bag
Tuppence
Tuppence
Tuppence a baaaag’
That defence?
Might work. Worth a shot.
That’s it. Killer defense……..
Ha! We once overfed a squirrel until he looked like a little over-stuffed bean bag. He literally waddled. It didn’t end well. He fell out of a tree.
NO!! YOU LIE!! That is HILARIOUS!!!
I spose you can’t do a blog post about it though since it ended so tragically…..
Those birds do look rather plump, Cindy. Oh my, sharing a cell with Lindsey Lohan sounds like a fate worse than death.
Yes it surely will be. Can you imagine? If I have to share a cell, I want to share it with Martha Stewart. She can give me stock tips……and make creative alternatives to jail food~
OK, you have gone over to the other side of rational, WELCOME HOME to my side.
Your place has gone to the birds?
Love your birds.
Remember, Lindsey Lohan knows how to beat the system and may be out by the time you get in?
Most pleased to be on this side. Much more fun. Yes, gone to the birds…at least there aren’t bats in our belfry like my neighbor!
Speaking of Bats in our belfry, trash to the side of the road day, I was checked out by a few bats this morning around 6ish? I have been trying to get them to move into the bat house I built a few years ago, hope that they likes my area? I have had bats in my belfry for years living up north
Sorry about the double hit on your posting this morning. It get not show up the first time so I hit the button again only harder, hope that I didn’t hurt your computer? Sometimes I do not know my own strength
OK I’m getting so tired I can’t even make sense while writing going shower and a nap,nite, nite?
I have double comments everywhere so no worries. Sweet dreams and cuidado con the bats…..many species carry rabies~
I know about the bats but thank you for the warning, remember this is central Florida, a rain tropics with mosquitoes. Bats eat thousands a day. I placed the Bat house out in the back 40! This guy was not interested in me, he went around me chasing his morning breakfast?
I hope that they will learn to share with my endangered green frogs and lizards?
I am worried about the one I saw the other day because it is going down into the 30′s this weekend?
PS ,I call in the back 40? We only have an acre? Guy thing?
It is a wonderful gift isn’t it, to have property where you can protect the animals. I have lived here 5 years. For the first year I was intimidated. Now I am comfortable and know what to do for the most part. Still do not like the southern pacifics though. They will come out of hibernation in March, hungry and dangerous. We had sigificant frost this year. Many people’s avocado orchards have severe damage and dead trees. Many nights around 26/27 degrees not normal. If you can post of photo of your endangered green frog, I would be very interested. Hope he is safe & warm~
OK, you have gone over to the other side of rational, WELCOME HOME to my side.
Your place has gone to the birds?
Love your birds.
Remember, Lindsey Lohan knows how to beat the system and maybe out by the time you get in?
lol…great story…those doves definitly are well fed…
love the humming bird…beautiful heads!
Yes to both points! Maybe she is with eggs? How are you supposed to this anyway? Pregnant dove. That doesn’t sound right….. If she is, I will definitely be exonerated. Cheers to you~
lol…I like “with eggs”…sounds good to me!
If Many Python can say, “with eggs,” so can we……
I will be in the next publication of torte law. A precedent setting case and can you imagine all the unique post material I will get in death row!!!
One needs to make lemons into lemonade after all…….
So funny! I am a bird “over-feeder” too. Truthfully, I over-feed everyone. And I would never want Ms. Lohan as a cell-mate either! Thank you for the wonderful laugh this morning!
Thank you! I agree with you on both points. Feeding, cooking food, and even feeding birds is an act of giving and love. I am so glad I made you laugh! Cheers to you~
Funny! I am so proud of knowing what “Holler home” means
I am proud of you too!!! I gave my son your footprints in the snow post. He was very interested as he has never tracked in the snow. Cheers to you & thanks~
By the way I just came across this dress and thought of you – it has a hummingbird design! http://www.whitestuff.com/sow-a-seed-dress-prod403130_thyme/
I love the dress! Thanks so much for sending it. I already have hummingbird finials that I got from National Geographic. Happy Valentines Day to you & your fiance~
Laughing so hard!! It is easy to fall into the trap of being an over feeder to beautiful creatures
Plead the fifth and hire Lindsey’s lawyer
Excellent idea!! He lawyer must have a very low pain tolerance!!:)
While not quite in the same ‘vain’ …you might enjoy this bit of humor -
Written for a prompt that asked you to take on the role of a fairy tale character….
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2013/02/wwp-142-charmed-and-lucky-too.html
I really did enjoy it! Beautifully written. Thank you for sending it my way~
Hahaha! There’s no way that fat Dovie could fly, poor her!
Poor baby…but there are LOTS of seeds on the ground left by the messy birdies!
I love the hummingbird pics, how many types do you get at the holler?
I honestly don’t know. I will watch as the nesting starts to see if I can do a count. So far I can identify two different types, but I’m sure there are more……..They can flash their colors on and off…..The ruby throats are easy to identify, the others harder for me.